Choosing how to walk.

Walking in the dark morning, along the Elbow River, has become one of the greatest pleasures of my day.  The highway drivers pass by in the distance, a breeze sometimes accompanies us, the dogs and I, the sky lightening as we move.  I picture the wildlife watching us from the woods on the river side.  A skunk shlepping through the grass, about to enter the berm, is stopped short by our passing presence.  Deer raise their heads from slumber or munching, watching us pass in their silence.  A big mountain cat observes our presence from a tree or a knoll.  This vision in my head brings some fear. But rarely do we encounter or even see these neighbors in the woods.

I do not fear them.  I am glad to share my morning with them.  The big cat, the cougar, worries me sometimes, or the bear when the season is right.  But we seem to live together well, the animals and I.  I know, also, that it is my very own delusional self that believes this.  This could change in an instant, an instant of claw or fang or pounce, a low, rumbling, unmistakable growl nearby would replace my sunny self with pure adrenaline terror.  Even a lift of a white striped tail toward my sniffing pup would make me doubt these morning strolls.  I could know fear as easily as I know confidence.

Lucky me, I still have the choice.  I choose confidence over fear.  Perhaps it is ignorance, but I choose.  I choose to love the morning, the dark morning.  I choose the fresh air and the seeping light of the sun.  I choose to go forward, to walk, to share the woods and the berm.  There is nothing better, at that very moment, than the sound of the gravel under my runners, the knowledge that I and my dogs are equally happy on this long stretch of pathway, cool air on our faces.

It is the day after the election south of our border.  Although I can barely think about the result without anger, I know that it is fear that breeds anger and I will not obey.  I will not be delusional, but I will not give in to fear, to anger, to hate.  My son, Zack, posted a quote from dear fictional Yoda in response to this event and I thought about it every step of my Elbow River walk today.  I do not choose fear.  Lucky me, I still have the choice.